Lessons learned on building a house (from watching a British TV show about home building)

Larry and I enjoy a British TV show called "Great Designs," which follows home builders along their journey. In about 90% of the episodes, they run way way way over budget. The show has made me completely paranoid about losing my shirt building a dream home.

I've learned a good bit from these sad stories, and here's what I'm taking away as we think about someday creating a Hudson Valley home for ourselves:

Build only what you need. I didn't assume (and still don't) that there is a linear relationship between square footage and cost, but you can save a lot of money by not taking on too big of a project. Larry and I now talk about building a minimum viable home. That way we can build a home earlier (when we're younger) and still enjoy it, even if it means we can't host Christmas and tons of friends ever summer. We can add all that later.

Use standard designs and materials whenever possible. People seem to get themselves into trouble when they try to do very nonstandard things.

Choose your plot wisely. Sometimes a remote location can add a lot of cost (transportation, etc).

Anticipate budget overruns. Some would say "plan for 10% more than you expect." However, after seeing the financial strains people put themselves through, I think you should look at your maximum budget and back off 20%. Then you'll actually be ready for overruns.

If possible, commit your contractor to particular prices (or a range) and pass overruns onto them.

On a separate note, prepare your marriage for the strain that building a home can put on it.