One of the reasons I was excited to come to HBS was because it would be the first place I would be fully out as gay. But I also had concerns. I wondered if the HBS community would embrace LGBT students and their partners. Would HBS be a place where my partner and I could find a home?
I am sure these emotions and questions were common among many LGBT admitted students. There is no way to fully describe the diversity of experiences LGBT students have at HBS, so I’ll simply share three short stories that epitomize my experience as a member of the HBS community.
My first story is about getting to know students in my section on a deeper level. Section A had four open LGBT students and two students who are members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). In LEAD class one day, our section discussed a scenario where a gay man struggled with whether he should be “out” at work. The conversation continued after class, with LGBT and LDS students talking in the hallway. Both groups wanted to learn more about each other’s communities, so we set up a time in the evening to share our stories and get to know each other better.
Tim, an LDS sectionmate, and his wife Aubrey had us over to their home one evening. After an awkward start (one LGBT student brought wine over as a welcoming gift, which the LDS students politely declined), we started by answering each other’s questions. After the LGBT students shared our coming out stories, one LDS student told the story of his father struggling to reveal his Mormon faith to his conservative Catholic grandparents. His different “coming out” story had a profound impact on me. In the course of one evening we found meaningful similarities among our different communities, and we went on to become truly great friends.
My second story is about joining the team that planned the first-ever LGBTQ Conference at Harvard. Since this conference was the first of its kind, we weren’t sure people would attend, and we struggled to find speakers who could inspire a large audience. Eventually, one of the planners suggested that I share my own story at the conference, since I had served in the military under the restrictive “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. I was initially hesitant to share such a personal story, but with encouragement from the planning team, another LGBT veteran and I put together a panel of LGBT military professionals. On the day of the conference, this panel was incredibly well attended, in part because our sectionmates and friends attended. They came not just to show support, but out of a real desire to hear our unique stories. When the conference asked attendees for feedback, our panel was rated as one of the highlights of the weekend’s events.
My third and final story took place in the middle of the fall semester of the RC year. My husband and I had planned our wedding far in advance, and our big day happened to fall right after first semester midterms. As a new RC, I was completely overwhelmed, not just with academics and wedding planning, but with the added concern of whether our marriage would be accepted by family, friends, and the community.
One evening, a group of sectionmates encouraged my fiancé and me to take a break from the grind and the stress to attend a friend’s birthday party. I went begrudgingly, thinking of all the case reading I had to do and how I still hadn’t ordered the wedding flowers. When we walked into the bar, our entire section shouted “Surprise!” Our section had planned us a wedding shower, to share their love, support, and happiness.
What ties these three stories together? The lesson is that you can feel confident that you will find a home at HBS. HBS embraces LGBT students and partners. In these two years, you’ll have more fun than you can imagine. You’ll have more support than you could hope for. You’ll be challenged beyond what you had ever anticipated. And if you come with an open mind, you’ll find you can make a positive difference in the HBS community, and HBS will undoubtedly have a positive impact on you.
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